Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
