Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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