Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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