I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
