I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
