she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
