im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
