I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
honey bunches of taint.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
