brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
