Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
