This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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