we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
