i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize