we're blogging at a bar
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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