Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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