btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
