the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
