I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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