Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
