The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
