You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
