Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
