1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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