I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
