we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
