she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
