carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
