So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
