yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
high people should be assigned attendants
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
