$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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