Non-Jews are for practice
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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