i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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