You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize