I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize