You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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