i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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