there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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