She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
