Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i drank out of a bidet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
