you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
