I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
