Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
