So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's never too late to be topless.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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