where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
