How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
