a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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