PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
