Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
