they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
