you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
