im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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