it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
