I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
