i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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