Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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