I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize