Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
