No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
