Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
