I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
