Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
