all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
