i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i think my mom watched the whole time
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You need a sexual gate keeper
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
