His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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