Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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