Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
