In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
A+ Viking dick
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
