i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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