If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
