summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize