Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
