I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
