Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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